I watched a story today while doing some database cleanup. The story was about a Daughter who never knew her Mother. She had great hatred towards her birth Mother because she had left her while she was at the age of 2 years old. The Daughter felt the Mother left her when she found out that her firstborn child was blind. As the years went by the Daughter grew up knowing and loving an entirely new family who took her in. She became a beautiful artist/painter and really made a huge impact to others by her God given talent. Although her success was great she had never dealt with the hatred she had within her heart for her birth Mom.
As she showed her artwork at a gallery a man approached her, which was her birth Mother’s current husband. She was furious when she learned as to who he was. She didn’t want to go and see her birth Mom as he was asking her to do. See the birth Mom was now up in years and was quite ill and her hopes were to see her Daughter before her passing. With some maneuvering by friends, both parties were asked to go to a Sunday Church service….neither one knew the other would be there. They both showed. After the service the birth Mother was told her Daughter was in the pew across the aisle. Everyone in the Church cleared the room, except the Daughter who was waiting for her ride to come and the birth Mother. The birth Mother asked her Daughter how she was doing. The Daughter said she was doing good and asked who she was speaking to for she did not recognize the voice. The birth Mother explained who she was and that she just wanted to see her….the Daughter was angry. In fact, she stated she hated her and began to cry. As they faced each other and the Daughter put her head on her Mothers shoulder… the Mother lifted her face and caressed her Daughters hair and asked, “What color is your hair? It used to be blond when you were little.” The Daughter answered, “brown”. The Mother said, I just wanted to see you and she placed her hands upon her Daughters face and slowly ran her fingers along the bone structure of her Daughters soft skinned face. It was then the Daughter realized that her Mother was totally blind. She caressed her tightly crying and said why didn’t you tell me? The Mother finally spoke the words that she wanted to share with her Daughter for so long…the words that rocked her world when she had learned from the Doctors at the birth of her Daughter that she had contracted Scarlet Fever and that this bacterial illness could and would take her eyesight at any moment. Without having to speak the words, her Daughter new instantly that her Mother had given her up so that she could have a chance in this world at success! The Daughter finally said, “I love you Mom”.
These words and this story may have rocked you to the core as it did for me. See in life sometimes we think things happen for one reason and we allow that reason to change our actions, our thought pattern. We sometimes because of this hold ourselves back from the joy we could be living. Some of these things weigh on our hearts and become the ever burning burden that we can’t seem to reach our heads up to the surface to breathe….and all along what we thought was the case wasn’t the case at all! Just think about how much time is wasted in allowing the wrong mindset, a negative mindset to creep in. When “facts” are not known we should not assume! This assumption can really kill our passion and progress.
So you may be sitting there saying, “What does this have to do with Real Estate Investing?” Everything! The message here is don’t conjure up or assume things in your mind as to what’s going on behind the scenes. Stop allowing your mind to wonder and create that doubt, then hatred this Daughter once felt…. get the facts. Don’t harp on or allow a burden to grow within that doesn’t need to be there. Don’t let your heart weigh down with why a deal didn’t work….why a homeowner backed out….why an Investor did you wrong….define the facts and then make your next move. If “It” is still not clear go to the source and simply ask them. Some may lie…but you will know and just don’t do business with them again. If they tell the truth and there are supporting facts then see what you can do from your end to make it right and learn from what has taken place to grow stronger.
Real Estate as you know is all about networking, working deals and doing what’s best for your clients. Sometimes we lose a deal we are counting on…sometimes it all works out….but all of the time until the paperwork is signed on the bottom line and a check is in the bank we don’t know if it’s a done deal! All of what we do is and should be surrounded by a growth mindset not a fixed one. This is a huge lesson for us that we can apply in our daily lives and in our business. I encourage you to read Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset. This book has been a wonderful blessing to me and was recommended by my Mentor Than Merrill, for who I will be grateful to for bringing it to my attention. See I used to allow those with a fixed mindset influence me and I have since learned that if I want to get to where I want to go I have to let the go. My journey since then has been ever so sweet. So come join me on this other side…the growth mindset… and let’s make a difference in this world.